HOW TO STAND OUT BY STAYING IN YOUR LANE

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Shoes- Christian Louboutin, Jeans – Reiss (Similar), Cardigan – River Island, Bag – Chloe, White Shirt – Similar

Being unapologetically you is a great place to start when it comes to standing out, but it can take a while to get there.

I was someone who always wanted to fit in, but I was never enough for any group; I was too awkward to be ‘cool’, too ‘street’ to be a ‘nerd’ too ‘ambitious/ smart’ to be a ‘layabout’, too ‘white’ to fit in with the ‘black’ crew and too ‘black’ to roll deep with the ‘white’ girls. My desire to fit in was exhausting and at many times really upsetting. While grown up I’ve found that not fitting in has remained the same, from my career in finance, to becoming a YouTuber and blogger, I still found that there wasn’t really a place I could ‘slot’ into, or crew I could join. But rather than that being something I found a challenge it’s something that has been rocket fuel to propelling me to where I have always wanted to be in life, I’ve realised that staying in my lane has truly helped me, so I’ve shared 3 ways I’ve made it work.
1. Self Reflection 
Taking a good hard look at myself and identifying my flaws, strengths, unique idiosyncrasies, has been a great place to start to know what my lane is. If you ever saw these little things about you as problems it might be time to flip the script and see these as your gift.
2. Define Your Journey
Often in life our path or lane had been defined by others, parents, school or society. I’ve found that over and over I have to re-define and remind myself of MY journey and the way I want to go. Avoiding the distraction of opinion, I keep my eye on my lane. It centres and forces me to focus eventually leading me to reach the end goal I determine in the beginning for myself
3. Standing Out, To Whom?
A question worth asking yourself, who’s opinion really matters to you? Who do you really want to see the best of you? Who do you actually have to impress? Asking myself these cold hard questions had a great impact on me because I realised the ‘who’s’ were very few. Keeping this in mind can release a weight off you shoulder and allow you to really stay in your own lane and stand out to those that actually matter.
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  • Did you really JUST have a baby?! Girl, you look amazing!

    Jo x
    http://www.theglobalgriot.com

  • The Reet Petite

    Slay mama Grace..Sllaayyy.

    TRP xx
    http://www.thereetpetite.com

  • Hannah Ekeh

    Thank you for writing this! I’m a college student about to graduate and this really speaks to what I’m going through right now, not really fitting in and any kind of group at the same time not wanting to fit in and just be myself. I’m slowly but surely learning how to unapologetically be me.

  • Rianna Hurree

    I really enjoyed this post, especially the part on self reflection. I can always relate to your posts regarding personal growth. Thank you for sharing, 🙂

  • L U N A

    LOVE the bag and especially the cardigan. I love the whole look actually. Very nice. You look radiant, and, one can tell you are very happy you have Grace 🙂
    I love this post too, it really resonates with me. Thank you I will take note and see what I find out…. a way to stay in my own lane, and not try to impress others who don’t matter.

  • You are just GORGEOUS! X

  • Loved this post, and I completely agree — each person’s personal quirks and character traits are what makes us unique, and we should treasure that instead of trying to blend in and be like everyone else 🙂
    xo, coco | millennielle.com

  • Shannon Kara

    Patricia! Thank you for this post it really resonates with me right now as I’m sure it does with many others! You look absolutely amazing and I wish you all the best with your bundle of joy xx

    Shannon // shannonkara.com

  • Firstly, let me start by wishing you a MASSIVE congratulations on the birth of Grace. She is adorable! As for you, you look hella fine. I love everything.. your hair, make-up and clothes <3 X

    THEFASHION-JUNKIE

  • Chloe_Dominik

    Yes! I know exactly what you mean! I was always a “floater” between groups. But I actually liked that I could hang around with everyone. Great post Patricia. Love the outfit!

    Chloe| chloedominik.co.uk

  • Sindiso Moagi

    This was a nice post to read. And congratulations on the new addition to your family. Baby Grace is surely a gift from God indeed.
    http://www.sindisosdiary.blogspot.com

  • Deffinatlyshaz

    Beautiful and very inspiring. When life gets in the way, it’s so difficult to stay positive and staying true to who I am. Found this useful.

    PS: you look beautiful.

    deffinatlyshaz.wordpress.com

  • Chanaley Anthea

    This is a beautiful post Patricia. I can completely relate to everything you have mentioned here. You give me so much motivation to be unapologetically me.

    Thank you so much for everything you do. From a newbie just starting out, you forever give me the push I need and make me believe that I am good enough exactly the way I am!

    With love,

    Chanaley from http://chanaley.blogspot.co.uk/

    X

  • Great tips! And congrats on the new baby!

    Agnes x

    BlvckBee.Com

  • Doris

    Lovely outfit choices. Looking hot as always.

  • This is a beautiful post Patricia. The more I see how many people try to fit in, the more I embrace my uniqueness because I know I’m true to myself and hopefully it encourages others to be themselves too.

    PS – You’re on my list of people to photograph and I know one day it’ll happen ??????

    http://www.mossonyi.com

  • Naomi

    Completely agree. My story is very similar. Great post Patricia.

    Naomi
    http://www.byyourstruly.co.uk

  • You look great Patricia! I love the points you made about staying in your own lane, and being you. I find myself wanting to be more like this or that, which isn’t necessarily bad, as long as it’s not at the expense of self.

    Berry Dakara Blog

  • Comfycozyup Books (Comfycozyup

    Great post! And you look fabulous
    http://www.comfycozyup.com

  • Lorraine-Whitney Terry

    I completely agree with this post Patricia! I loved reading this as it was very insightful . You look amazing X

    Lorraine
    Lorrainewhitney.com

  • Kaiana

    Love this very much. As someone who has just turned 24 I’m really and truly inspired and motivated to blaze my own path so this was timely. And I really can relate to this because I’m someone who has never been able to fit in. Thanks, Patricia.

  • Cocoa Nina

    You look amazing! This post really hits home for me. I never really fit in either and it caused me to really compare myself to others. Self-reflection is amazing! It really opened my eyes.

  • Yes to this, thank you x

  • Tunrayo A.

    You look lovely Patricia. I was drawn to read this because of the title. I think it’s important to reflect to see how far I’ve come. Some times, we get so busy looking at others that we begin to doubt ourselves.

    http://www.tunrayosthoughts.com

  • Dora

    I was too awkward to be ‘cool’, too ‘street’ to be a ‘nerd’ too ‘ambitious/ smart’ to be a ‘layabout’, too ‘white’ to fit in with the ‘black’ crew and too ‘black’ to roll deep with the ‘white’ girls Patricia I was that girl! loved reading the blog and yes staying in your own lane is the key!!! Thanks for sharing!

  • HettyAshAsiabee

    You look amazing Patricia. I enjoy reading your blogs and watching your video. I love the Chloe bag – looks like suede! Might get myself a pair! Your post is spot on. We should find out who and what we are and embrace it rather than trying to fit in with what we think is ‘cool’ or ‘in’.
    Meeting Patrica a couple of years bag at a youth based event and watching her videos and blogs has inspired me to start my own blog.
    http://www.hettyashasiabee.com
    Twitter: @HettyAsia
    Instagram: @hettyashasiabee:disqus

  • Priscillia Okpan

    “Who do you actually have to impress?”
    This is one question a lot of young girls need to ask themselves today. I inclusive! We are so taken by the fact that we want to impress our peers and society, to the extent that we forget who we are.

    Priscillia

    http://www.kimdave.com

  • Vanessa

    You are so right thank you for helping me to identify my flaws and strenghts.
    Great advise.

  • I honestly think your views on life and self belief have made me a better person. Everything you say is so honest and natural without coming across aggressive and it encourages me to really relate to what you’re saying.

    Thank you for being the great person you are.

    http://www.gracesnotebook.com
    @GracesNotes

  • Brenda Rodrigues

    Wonderful article. I followed your blog from your YouTube channel. I loved you there and even more here. Love knowing I’m not alone and grateful to be one of many ladies you help to inspire to embrace my very own uniqueness. B

  • (Staying in your lane) is the best thing anyone can do of themselves. That’s has been my mantra for a while now.
    http://www.yvesofstyle.com

  • Mo Ateng Hope

    Love the Outfit. Looking great as always